Haya’s Crappy Blog

Will I always be there for you?
When you need someone, Will I be that one you need?
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?
When the tears get near your eyes
Will I be the one that’s by your side?
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Will I take tender care of you?
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?
When this world has turned so cold
Will I be the one that’s there to hold?

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

Yeah
And I love you more every day
And nothing will take that love away
When you need someone
I promise I’ll be there for you (there for you)
I promise

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?
I promise, I promise
I promise I will

And I promise (and I promise)
I promise (oh I promise you)
I will be there when you call me (when you call me)
I promise (I promise)
I promise I will

So if you call my name
You know my heart you claim
I’ll be right here
By your side
Through thickness and through thin
You know my love you win
I’ll be right here
By your side

Boy when you come to me I’m just in my head
Of how glad I am to be with you and
You just don’t know how special you are to me
Can’t you see we’re meant to be, oh yeah
If you ever doubt my love
Don’t fear, I’m right here for you
My heart belongs to one and only you
I could never want another

So if you call my name
You know my heart you claim
I’ll be right here
By your side (by your side)
Through thickness and through thin
You know my love you win
I’ll be right here
By your side

So now you know how I feel, baby
You have brightened up my world in every way
Share your feelings, with me baby
You can tell me anything
Keep me close to your heart, darling
You’ll be close to mine
One thing that makes me happy
Is spending time with you, baby yeah

So if you call my name (if you call my name)
You know my heart you claim
I’ll be right here (I’ll be right here)
By your side (on your side babe)
Through thickness and through thin
You know my love you win (my love you win)
I’ll be right here (oh yeah)
By your side

So if you call my name (if you call my name)
You know my heart you claim
I’ll be right here (I’ll be right here)
By your side (right by your side)
Through thickness and through thin (through thick and thin)
You know my love you win (my love you win)
I’ll be right here
By your side

Oh when you walked, into my life
You know you changed it for the better
And you can count on me, to always be true
Don’t worry at all…

So if you call my name
You know my heart you claim
I’ll be right here
By your side
Through thickness and through thin (oh)
You know my love you win (yeah yeah, baby)
I’ll be right here
By your side (by your side baby)

So if you call my name (ooh)
You know my heart you claim (oh)
I’ll be right here
By your side (oh by your side baby)
Through thickness and through thin
You know my love you win
I’ll be right here
By your side (right by your side babe)

So if you call my name (ohh yeah)
You know my heart you claim (ohh yeah yeah)
I’ll be right here
By your side (uh huh)
Through thickness and through thin (yeah ohh)
You know my love you win
I’ll be right here
By your side

So if you call my name
You know my heart you claim (hey)
I’ll be right here
By your side
Through thickness and through thin (through thick and thin)
You know my love you win (my love you win)
I’ll be right here
By your side

has anyone watched disney’s latest movie, enchanted?
it’s a mixture of the fairytale story and real life story.
the fairytale characters came into the real world.
it was a romance comedy, but had a bunch of romance elements.
which, i was not really in the mood for those kind of things.
but well, i have to say that the movie was interesting.
giselle wasn’t so pretty. i still think that a princess should be pretty.
and prince edward wasn’t handsome. a prince should be handsome.
what i liked the most was giselle’s white wedding gown. so fairytale-like.
okay, that was about the costumes. not about the movie, entirely.
the singing in the park scene was a bit crappy and nonsense.
i mean, that kind of scene is common in the cartoon movies.
but i find it so weird to find actual people singing and dancing along to some tune which was never heard and sang before.
patrick dempsey, the mcdreamy from grey’s anatomy wasn’t so mcdreamy.
his hair was short and he didn’t look like mcdreamy at all.
it’s his eyes. the way he looks at meredith grey which makes him a mcdreamy.
the ending was kind of predictable. prince edward and nancy. giselle and robert.
the happy ending part was fine with me. giselle looks better with robert.
and, nancy and prince edward looks better as fairytale cartoon characters.
i wish i can be part of a fairytale and live a fairytale life with happy endings.

Q1. are you okay?
A1. no, i’m not okay.

Q2. are you sad?
A2. yes, i’m still sad.

Q3. do you cry?
A3. i’m trying so hard not to cry that i want to cry so much.

Q4. are you happy?
A4. if i’m sad, then i’m not happy. d’uh.

Q5. do you feel lonely?
A5. yes, i feel lonely and the loneliness can drive me insane.

Q6. do you hangout with your friends?
A6. i do. but not all the time. i can’t bug them
everytime i feel lonely and need company. they have their own lives
too. that’s why i said, the loneliness can drive me insane.

Q7. do you sleep?
A7. of course. i’m not a zombie. and i get enough good night’s sleep everyday.

Q8. do you eat?
A8. i eat. proper food. but still, i look as if i don’t eat at all. dammit.

Q9. what kind of songs do you listen to?
A9. well, right now, i only listen to sappy love songs. that’s the only thing i want to listen to for the moment.

Q10. what makes you happy?
A10. my family, my friends, and especially that one person i miss so much.

Q11. what makes you laugh?
A11. jokes and funny stories, and that one person i miss so much who never fails to make me laugh.

Q12. what makes you smile?
A12. lots of things make me smile. but i think, that one person i miss so much makes me smile the most.

Q13. what do you think about yourself?
A13. i’m not a perfect person. but that is why i always try to improve myself to be a better person.

Q14. how would you describe yourself?
A14. shy, blur, spontaneous, funny, smart, talented,
friendly, talkative, kind, helpful, thoughtful, forgetful, lazy, likes
to panic for the wrong reason at the wrong time, brave but not brave
enough to do things like in the fear factor, enjoys music, creative,
ambitious, honest, faithful, loyal, truthful, etc…

Q15. what do you like about yourself?
A15. i have musical talents, i’m honest with people,
i’m taller than most people, i have the ability to master foreign
languages easily, i’m one in a million. haha.

Q16. what do you dislike about yourself?
A16. i’m shy, i’m forgetful, i’m lazy, the laziness
and lack of effort makes me stupid, i like to do things at the very
last minute, despite being honest to people i like to lie to myself,
i’m not strong as in mentally and not physically.

Q17. what do you do before you go to sleep?
A17. i write in my diary, listen to sappy love songs, hug my teddy bear and go to sleep.

Q18. how are you feeling right now?
A18. messed up. sad. lonely. stupid. clueless.

Q19. what do you wish for right now?
A19. it’s for me to know and for you not to know at all.

Q20. who do you want to meet right now?
A20. that one person i want to meet so much…

i’m not a big fat liar.
because i’m not big.
and i’m not fat either.
but i’m a liar right now.
because i’m lying to myself.
i’m lying to myself by saying i’m okay.
i’m lying to myself by not crying.
i’m lying to myself by smiling.
i’m lying to myself by laughing.
i’m lying to myself by saying things.
i’m lying to myself about my feelings.
i’m lying to myself about my emotions.
the truth is, i’m not okay.
the truth is, i want to cry.
the truth is, i’m not smiling honestly.
the truth is, i may be faking out my laughter.
the truth is, i’m saying things when i’m in a denial.
the truth is, my feelings are all sort of sadness.
the truth is, i’m emotionally unstable.

I don’t mind spending some time
Just hanging here with you
‘Cause I don’t find too many guys

That treat me like you do.

Those other guys all wanna take me for a ride

But when I walk they talk of suicide

Some people never get beyond their stupid pride

But you can see the real me inside

And I’m satisfied, oh no, ohh

Even though the gods are crazy

Even though the stars are blind

If you show me real love baby

I’ll show you mine

I can make it nice and naughty

Be the devil and angel too

Got a heart and soul and body

Let’s see what this love can do

Maybe I’m perfect for you

Ohh, ohh, ohh

I could be your confidante

Just one of your girlfriends

But I know that’s not what you want

If tomorrow the world ends

Why shouldn’t we be with the one we really love?

Now tell me who have you been dreaming of?

I and I alone, oh, no

Even though the gods are crazy

Even though the stars are blind

If you show me real love baby

I’ll show you mine

I can make it nice and naughty

Be the devil and angel too

Got a heart and soul and body

Let’s see what this love can do

Baby I’m perfect for you

Excuse me for feeling

This moment is critical

Might be we feel it

It could get physical, oh no, no, no

Even though the gods are crazy

Even though the stars are blind

If you show me real love baby

I’ll show you mine

I can make it nice and naughty

Be the devil and angel too

Got a heart and soul and body

Let’s see what this love can do

Oh
Let’s see what love can do (Oh)

Maybe I’m perfect for you

Maybe I’m perfect for you (Oh)

You (Oh)

Maybe I’m perfect for you

Even though the gods are crazy (Oh)

Even though the stars are blind (Oh)

Even though the gods are crazy (Oh)

Even though the stars are blind (Oh)

it was din’s 22nd birthday on 25th november 2007.
i and sam celebrated his birthday down his block.
i asked him out for a drink after he finished work at night.
we watched a football match while hanging out at section 7.
then before 12am, we headed to section 6 to send din home.
then sam light up a candle on a choc mud cake from secret recipe.
we sang him a birthday song and wished him ‘happy birthday’.
he was speechless and his eyes were watery, filled with tears.
he didn’t expect that we would remember his birthday.
he told me about his birthday before, and of course i won’t forget it.
and it was a coincidence that sam came back last weekend.
or else, it would only be me celebrating his birthday somewhere.
we sat on the road, chatting and looking at the full moon in the dark sky.
then i gave him his birthday card and present.
once again, his eyes filled with tears and he became speechless.
i really hope that he likes his birthday present.
he is one of my best guy friend in this world.
it’s funny because back when we were working together, we were not close.
we became close after both of us quit our job at 7-eleven.
i don’t really see him so often but i do visit him at work sometimes.
he is one of the best best friend anyone would want to wish for.
may you succeed in life and may god bless you, din.

Didn’t you want to hear
The sound of all the places we could go
Do you fear
The expressions on the faces we don’t know
It’s a cold hard road when you wake up
And I don’t think that I
Have the strength to let you go

Maybe it’s just me, Couldn’t you believe
That everything I said and did, wasn’t just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

There goes my ring
It might as well have been shattered
And I’m here to sing
About the things that mattered
About the things that made us feel alive for oh so long
About the things that kept you on my side when I was wrong

Maybe it’s just me, Couldn’t you believe
That everything I said and did, wasn’t just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

And someday, I promise I’ll be gone
And someday, I might even sing this song
To you, I might even sing this song, to you
And I was crying alone tonight
And I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you
So just come back we’ll make it better
So Just come back I’ll make it
Better than it ever was [x2]

Maybe it’s just me, Couldn’t you believe
That everything I said and did, wasn’t just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

Maybe it’s just me, Couldn’t you believe
That everything I said and did, wasn’t just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
Makes me wish that I was never brought into this place
(I want it all, Don’t leave right now)
(I’ll give you everything)

i had a date with sam yesterday. we went to sunway pyramid.
had lunch at secret recipe. we shared the meal.
i have a small stomach, you know. i can’t eat much.
it’s been so long since he last spoonfed me. i miss those times.
he spoonfed me during lunch at secret recipe yesterday.
then we walked around to search for things. i bought a bunch of stuffs.
bought a small soccer ball for din as his birthday present.
also bought one chelsea mini soccer ball for sam. it was so cute.
i also bought a birthday card for din. and also a card for sam.
i bought a box of ferrero roche chocolate for sam since he loves it.
sam gave me a cute teddy bear strap with my birth date on it.
i was just looking at it, saying that they’re cute and all.
suddenly he found one with my birth date and bought it right away.
that was a bit unexpected. it came as a surprise to me. he bought it for me.
while we were at memory lane, he was busy looking at the teddy bears.
he held 2 bears and asked me if i wanted one and which one i like.
well, i liked both. one was fluffy and soft. one held a heart shaped pillow.
both looked cute and i couldn’t decide on which one is better.
so i just asked sam to choose the bear, which he would like to give me.
he gave me the fluffy bear. so that i can hug it and sleep with it every night.
thank you, sam. it was very nice, sweet and thoughtful of you.
i had so much fun yesterday. i enjoyed the time we spent together.
it will be one of the most memorable date which i will always remember.

Karma is the concept of "action" or "deed" in Indian religions understood as denoting the entire cycle of cause and effect described in Hindu, Jain, Sikh and Buddhist philosophies.

The philosophical explanation of karma can differ slightly between
traditions, but the general concept is basically the same. Usually it
is understood to be a sum of all that an individual has done, is
currently doing and will do. The results or "fruits" of actions are
called karma-phala.
Karma is not about retribution, vengeance, punishment or reward; karma
simply deals with what is. The effects of all deeds actively create
past, present and future experiences, thus making one responsible for
one’s own life, and the pain and joy it brings to others. In religions
that incorporate reincarnation, karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well.

Throughout this process, some traditions believe that God plays some kind of role, for example, as the dispenser of the fruits of karma 
or as exercising the option to change one’s karma in rare instances.
However, in general, both Hindus and Buddhists consider the natural
laws of causation sufficient to explain the effects of karma. Another view holds that a Sadguru, acting on God’s behalf, can mitigate or work out some of the karma of the disciple.

The "Law of Karma" is central in Indian religions.
All living creatures are responsible for their karma — their actions
and the effects of their actions — and for their release from samsara. The concept can be traced back to the early Upanishads.

If we accept that the logical ethical consequence of the law of
karma is to behave responsibly, and the tenet of the law of karma is
essentially "if you do good things, good things will happen to you — if
you do bad things, bad things will happen to you," then it is possible
to identify analogs with other religions that do not rely on karma as a
metaphysical assertion or doctrine.

Karma does not specifically concern itself with salvation as it
implies a basic socio-ethical dynamic. The law of karma as a mechanism
functions like a judge of one’s actions, similar to the concept of God
as judge in relation to "good and bad works" in the western religions.
The Apostle Paul similarly states: "man reaps what he sows."

Basically, you get what you give.
Because eventually, what goes around, comes around.