Haya’s Crappy Blog

kimi ni koi wo shita.

kimi wo aishita.

aru hi, kimi ni uragirareta.

kimi ni damasareta.

watashi wo kizustuketa.

demo kimi wa ayamatta.

watashi wa kimi wo yurushita.

riyuu wa kimi wo aishiteru kara.

kore kara saki dou naru ka sugoku fuan.

demo shinjiru.

zutto issho ni irareru to shinjiru.

sono omoi wo shinjitsuzukeru.

kimi no kotoba wo shinjite itai.

watashi no kotoba wo shinjite hoshii.

kimi ni mitomete moraitai.

itoshii kanojo to shite mitomete moraitai.

kimi no kimochi wo shiritai.

watashi no kimochi wo shitte moraitai.

kimi wo hanashitakunai.

watashi no soba ni ite hoshii.

zutto.

aishiteru.

guess what… the kancil has been fixed yesterday. i’m so glad.

sent the car to the workshop in the morning and got it done by evening.

i broke the news to my dad and we kept it a secret from me mom.

i spent RM1000 for the windscreen, painting, bumper, bonnet, car plate and the ketuk-ing job.

had sam come with me to the workshop in the morning at glenmarie.

after sending the car, we had breakfast at a nearby restaurant.

waited at the workshop for sahril to come. miza and farid came too.

we then went out for lunch at some place nearby. don’t know where.

kind of hung out at the restaurant for a few hours to kill time.

went back to the workshop but the car was still in the oven.

so we to section 13 for a drink. daf came later after he finished work.

the car was done then, so had daf help me get the car. thanks, daf!

after lepak-ing a little more while, we finally went back home.

it was a very long and tiring yesterday. have been out the whole day.

after getting home i cleaned up my messy room, took a bath and had dinner.

then we went out for a karaoke session with them later at night.

did sing a few songs but was not such a good performance because i had a sore throat.

sam was smoking dunhill light yesterday, and i can’t stand the smoke.

so anyway, after the place shut down at 1am, we went for a lepak-ing session at khulafa bistro, section 7.

everyone ordered roti. i didn’t want to eat at first, but was forced to eat by the guys and even the waiter who took our order.

in the menu, there was like this page written roti (51 jenis).

farid ordered roti salad, sam had roti telur, sahril had capati, i don’t remember what miza had but daf had roti cheese and garlic.

i didn’t know what to eat so i asked daf to choose something for me.

and of all the weird things written on the menu, he chose roti honeymoon. everyone was like forcing me to order that one, including the waiter.

so how was this roti honeymoon? small sized roti canai, with a scoop of vanilla ice-cream, a banana which is sliced and poured with honey on top of it.

there were so many weird rotis. there was this one roti called roti jantan, which is actually a roti telur, but is cooked with 2 eggs. that one is kind of dumb.

ended up lepak-ing up to around 3am and finally went home as everyone was already showing sleepy faces.

i’m so really grateful and thankful that i am blessed with such nice friends who are willing to provide help when needed.

i owe them a lot. thanks for being there for me!!

do you believe in friday the 13th? as in it’s not a good day?

i always thought that it was something superstitious. but now i don’t.

i didn’t even realize that it is friday the 13th today. damn.

firstly, i got into an arguement with him. it was kind of bad.

but eventually we patched things up again. then we were okay.

secondly, i got into an arguement with her. what was i thinking!!?

it was dumb and i decided that i was being so-o-o immature.

so, you know, forgive and forget. even if you can’t forget, at least forgive.

and you know what, after saying all those stupid things to her and being mad at her and making her feel pissed off at me and finally apologizing to her and forgiving her, i felt better.

yeah, please do call me stupid or dumb for what i did. i don’t care.

i don’t really stay mad at people for a long period. well, usually.

i like to forgive and forget. mad at that person for one day, you sleep, and then the next day you wake up, you just forget about the silly pointless arguements.

well, not all cases. it still has to depend on the situation. anyway…

so in the evening after i got back home from meeting sam, ash asked me out for a drink.

anyway, that was when i got into an accident. at section 8.

i kind of lost control of the steering wheel and banged into a lamp post.

it was great. i banged my head on the mirror and now it has a flower pattern on it. so beautiful.

the bonnet was kemek. and so is the whatever thing you call down there, the place where the car number plate is. bumper? whatever. by the way, what is kemek in english anyway?

the front car number plate is broken. as in patah. what’s patah in english anyway? my english is so getting worse.

so anyway, thank god i was driving the kancil instead of the perdana.

went to the workshop in glenmarie with bush and ash.

called up daf but he was in kl and by the time he reaches shah alam, it would be night.

so i called up sahril and asked for his help. he came over to the workshop area in glenmarie and brought me to this workshop which he always goes and got daf’s car repaired before this.

the cost is going to be eye blinking, although not as fabulous as if i had to repair the perdana car.

the cost for changing the bonnet and bumper and some ketuk-ing job would cost me RM400. hoorah.

if i want the bonnet to be painted and have the mirror changed, it would cost another RM300 for each, which would be like add RM600. yippea.

since i am broke and poor and helpless, i can only spend my money for the bonnet, bumper and the ketuk-ing thing.

it’s so sad because i only have like RM390 in my purse. i’m kind of wondering where i spend the rest of my money because i think i had like RM600 at the beginning of the month.

next month when i get my final payment from work, i’ll get the mirror fixed. the painting for the bonnet can wait.

now, the problem is, how do i break this news to my dad…

it’s so unbelievable. it’s just the first week of the semester and i’m already flat broke.

it’s mega sale right now and i haven’t done my shopping yet and i’m already in a moneyless state.

anyway, basically, i’m still wondering what i should do right now…

i need to go to the workshop tomorrow morning to get the car fixed.

it can be repaired and be ready in the evening. so, that’s what the mechanic or whatever he is called told me.

i wish i had the extra money to get the car painted and the mirror changed too. unfortunately, i’m not rich. i know. d’uh…

maybe i’ll still have to tell my dad about it tonight so that i can get the car fixed tomorrow. but how? when? what do i say?

owh my gawd… today is such a bad day for me… i hate me…

to love someone is to be able to accept the person you love as who they are.

i love him. that’s why i am willing to accept him for who he is.

i hope it’s not a one-way love this time.

i wish and i hope he loves me too.

and i hope he can accept me for who i am.

the third and last day of the trip to port dickson was rather relaxing.

we checked out in the afternoon and had lunch.

after buying souvenirs, we went to the beach. again.

i didn’t buy any souvenir but sam bought me souvenirs. hehe.

i didn’t play in the sea because i was having my period.

but i did take a stroll along the beach to take some pictures.

sam wanted me in the sea with him but i turned him down.

as i said, i was having my period and i didn’t bring extra shirt.

so i just hung out at the beach with him. it was okay.

i buried him in the sand and we took loads of pictures.

most of the pictures in the camera were two shots of us. hehe.

played at the beach until evening before going back to shah alam.

sam slept at the backseat of the car. so cute. like a little boy.

he was like, cold so i had to strip off my jacket to cover him.

the journey back home was dreadful and suffocating. deadly too.

no, we didn’t bang into cars or got chased by crazy lorry drivers.

it had something to do with stinking fart which smelt like durian.

anyway, after arriving in shah alam, we contionued lepak-ing.

had a drink at section 11 while chatting and reviewing the pictures.

the trip to port dickson was so much fun. i’d give it a 90%.

i hope my next honeymoon with sam would be on an island.

going for a holiday to the island should be romantic. haha.

What you been doing, what you been doing?
Whoa, whoa, I haven’t seen you around
How you been feeling, how you been feeling?
Whoa, whoa, don’t you bring me down

All that stuff about me being with him
Cant believe all the lies that you told
Just to ease your own soul
But I’m bigger than that
No you don’t have my back
No, no

Hey how long until the music drowns you out
Don’t put words up in my mouth
I didn’t steal your boyfriend
Hey how long until you face what’s going on
Because you really got it wrong
I didn’t steal your boyfriend

Well I’m sorry that he called me
And that I answered the telephone
Don’t be worried, I’m not with him
And when I go out tonight, I’m going home alone
Just got back from my tour
I’m a mess girl for sure
All I want is some fun, guess that I better run
Hollywood sucks you in, but it won’t spit me out
Whoa, whoa

Hey how long until the music drowns you out
Don’t put words up in my mouth
I didn’t steal your boyfriend
Hey how long until you face what’s going on
Because you really got it wrong
I didn’t steal your boyfriend

Hey how long until you look at your own life
Instead of looking into mine
I didn’t steal your boyfriend
Hey how long until you’re leaving me alone
Don’t you have somewhere to go
I didn’t steal your boyfriend
Whoa, whoa, whoa ha

Please stop telling all your friends
I’m getting sick of them always staring
Like I took him from you

Hey how long until the music drowns you out
Don’t put words up in my mouth
I didn’t steal your boyfriend
Hey how long until you face what’s going on
Because you really got it wrong
I didn’t steal your boyfriend

Hey how long until you look at your own life
Instead of looking into mine
I didn’t steal your boyfriend
Hey how long until you’re leaving me alone
Don’t you have somewhere to go
I didn’t steal your boyfriend
Whoa, whoa, whoa ha
Whoa, I didn’t steal your boyfriend

i’ve been like, crying, and crying, and crying, and crying.

that’s what i’ve been doing the whole day since yesterday.

it hurts so much. it hurts too much, actually.

the reason was unacceptable. the question is still unanswered.

it just doesn’t make sense at all. i can’t believe it at all.

i’ve been lied. i’ve been cheated. like, big time.

and i don’t think i deserve to be treated that way.

where did it go wrong, i question. the answer was that i was okay.

then, why? why does it have to happen? why did it happen?

i can do exactly the same thing, if i was pure evil. but i won’t.

because i’m not evil. i’m not a bitch. i don’t want to be hated.

and obviously, i know my limits and what’s wrong and right.

there’s a line i should not cross and i won’t be stupid to cross it.

my friends are advising me to leave. i just can’t do that.

i’m giving a second chance and try to forgive and forget.

although it’s like, totally and absolutely impossible to forget.

i just hope that things return back to normal. is it even possible?

am i a total idiot or am i doing the right thing? i’m so confused.

只剩下鋼琴陪我談了一天
Zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo tan le yi tian
Only the piano accompanies me throughout the day

睡著的大提琴
Shui jiao de da ti qin
The sleeping cello

安靜的舊舊的
An Jing de jiu jiu de
Quiet and so old

我想你已表現的非常明白
Wo xiang ni yi biao xian de fei chang ming bai
I think you’ve made yourself clear

我懂我也知道
Wo dong wo ye zhi dao
I know and I’m sure

你沒有捨不得
Ni mei you she bu de
You don’t regret

你說你也會難過我不相信
Ni shuo ni ye hui nan guo wo bu xiang xin
You say you’re upset too, that I don’t believe

牽著你陪著 我也只是曾經
Qian zhe ni pei zhe wo ye zhi shi cheng jin
You being with me was in the past

希望他是真的比我還要愛你
Xi wang ta shi zhen de bi wo hai yao ai ni
I hope he loves you more than I do

我才會逼自己離開
wo cai hui bi zi ji li kai
Only then will I bring myself to leave

Chorus

你要我說多難堪
Ni yao wo shuo duo nan kan
You want me to say it, but it is awkward

我根本不想分開
Wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai
I don’t even want to break up

為什麼還要我用微笑來帶過
Wei she me hai yao wo yong wei xiao lai dai guo
Why must I depend on a smile to tide me through?

我沒有這種天份
Wo mei you zhe zhong tian fen
I don’t have the ability

包容你也接受他
bao rong ni ye jie shou ta
To accept both you and him

不用擔心的太多
Bu yong dan xin de tai duo
Don’t worry too much

我會一直好好過
Wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo
I’ll still be fine

你已經遠遠離開
Ni yi jin yuan yuan li kai
You’ve already gone far away

我也會慢慢走開
Wo ye hui man man zou kai
And I will slowly walk away

為什麼我連分開都遷就著你
Wei she me wo lian fen kai dou qian jiu zhe ni
Why is it that I have to accommodate you even when [we] break up?

我真的沒有天份
Wo zhen de mei you tian fen
I really don’t have the ability

安靜的沒這麼快
An jing de mei zhe me kuai
Staying silent doesn’t come so fast

我會學著放棄你
Wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni
I will learn to give you up

是因為我太愛你
Shi ying wei wo tai ai ni
Because I love you so much