ambitions and dreams
everyone has ambitions and dreams. but what’s mine?
when i was small, i used to want to be so many things.
i wanted to be a teacher. that was dumb. wow, i feel so ashamed.
i wanted to open a restaurant. i think it was a bakery. or a cake shop.
as i grew up, my dreams changed. little kiddies don’t think much.
my biggest dream was to be a japanese interpreter.
i became the school interpreter when the exchange students came from japan.
owh, how i hate being used by the teachers at that time.
the teachers would only talk to me when they needed my help. otherwise, i was invisible.
teachers only sucked up to rich kids whose parents had titles and lived in big bungalows.
i don’t hold any grudges against those kids as long as they don’t disturb my life.
but i hated the teachers. my school teachers were materialistic. damn them.
owh, and even the school kids whom i didn’t know would talk to me at that time.
just so that i can be their messenger for the japanese exchange students.
ugh! i’m not a machine at your service, okay. damn all of you!
then, i also wanted to be a japanese translator.
i actually wanted to translate japanese comics into malay language.
just finding for a reason to read japanese comics for free. haha.
unfortunately, my japanese is so horrible.
having a japanese mother definitely doesn’t help.
then, i wanted to be a linguist. i wanted to learn so many languages.
i’m able to speak malay, english and japanese language.
i studied french language for 3 semesters.
and i always wanted to understand cantonese and mandarin.
having chinese friends really influenced me a lot.
my mom is encouraging me to learn korean language.
but i’m just too lazy to make the extra effort to learn another language.
owh, i can speak and understand other dialects too.
the kedah dialect and the sabah dialect. haha.
anyway, that’s not an advantage, i suppose.
at one point, my dad asked me to be an accountant.
just because i studied accounting during form 4 and form 5.
and i continued studying accounting in matriculation college.
doesn’t mean that i have interest in accounting. i hated it.
i decided to study tourism management for a reason that i wanted to travel.
my mom wanted me to be an ambassador and live at a foreign country.
and then i’d marry a foreign guy and live happily ever after.
and never to return back to malaysia. my mom’s dream. haha.
that’s not going to happen if i’m studying in malaysia.
you need to send me to study overseas if you want that to happen.
when i was in secondary school, i learned to play the piano.
i completed my grade 8 practical exam with a pass last year. bravo!
the sad thing is that i flunked my grade 7 theory exam twice. haha.
i always hated doing theory because i was really bad at composing.
i still don’t understand the concept of all those chords. i never did.
i also had a dream of being a pianist and perform at hotels.
that’s also a lame dream. impossible to achieve. especially since i’m lazy.
can you imagine, i never really did practice for my exam pieces.
i would only practice at least an hour before class starts.
i’d practice the 1st and 2nd piece because it’s not so difficult.
and i’d skip not practicing the 3rd piece because it’s hard and boring.
then i’d practice my scales because i don’t want my teacher shouting at me.
she always scolds me for playing the scales with wrong fingerings.
piano class on every saturday morning was a torture for me back then.
i even thought of furthering my studies at the university in music.
thank goodness i didn’t do so. i would have suffered even more.
i wouldn’t want to have hair like beethoven’s due to stress studying music. haha.
i thought being a stewardess would be a good idea so that i can travel.
but hey, being stewardess means you have to have the looks.
and i’m not pretty although i might qualify in terms of education qualification.
working in the office would be boring, especially if i end up in the marketing department.
i studied marketing for 3 semesters and i never got anything better than a ‘B’.
doing ticketing might be good since i enjoyed studying ticketing last year.
but… it would be like being a travel agent. and it sounds kind of boring.
owh, i’m so picky. yeah, i know that. but what do you care?
now, i’m so lost and clueless and i don’t know what to be after i graduate.
there are so many job opportunities out there for me but nothing attracts me.
i’ll just try my luck and send out my resumes to whoever at whichever company.
and just attend to all their interviews if i was called for that.
and i’ll just accept any job which offers me good pay and employee benefits. haha.
